Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Funniest essay of 2002: "How to Write Like a Wanker." I just about lost bladder control reading it.
posted by media_dystopia @ 14:38 [ link | top | home ]
Last day of 2002. I'm entirely thrilled to be done with this year.
posted by media_dystopia @ 12:34 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, December 30, 2002
I'm proud Avril Lavigne is Canadian. I'm not so proud about her neckties and the mindless teenage lemmings wearing them to emulate her. It's hard to be a skate-punk when your tie keeps getting caught in the wheels.
posted by media_dystopia @ 21:07 [ link | top | home ]
Why is A&E is so obsessed with True Lies?
posted by media_dystopia @ 19:23 [ link | top | home ]
I went to the mall today. It didn't take me long to realize that the Internet was created to allow me to shop without having to put up with morons. Thank you Amazon.com!
posted by media_dystopia @ 17:15 [ link | top | home ]
Sunday, December 29, 2002
I just saw Steven Spielberg's Minority Report. I don't understand why the movie got bad reviews; I thought it was excellent. It won't be added to my list of favorite movies or anything, but its quality should be recognized.
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:53 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, December 28, 2002
Further to the November 27 post: A year ago, The Nation created a list of the Big Ten media owners. This is a good supplement to MediaChannel.org's Media Ownership Chart and Columbia Journalism Review's Who Owns What. I like knowing these things. Not because it bothers or scares me; I'm just fascinated by the intricate web of media ownership and corporate synergy. I'm not one of those people who runs around like Chicken Little screaming about the evils of corporate media ownership. My greatest concern is the quality of journalism, not the fact that my favorite channels are owned by one company.
posted by media_dystopia @ 11:43 [ link | top | home ]
News item: The much-hyped Segway Human Transporter is one of the top electronics sellers at Amazon.com, the exclusive seller of the self-balancing electric scooter. For a measly US$4,950.00, you too can do away with that pesky "walking" thing developed over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Exercise is just so passé.
posted by media_dystopia @ 10:11 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, December 27, 2002
I was just thinking to myself the other day that what the world really needs is a freakish UFO cult winning the race to clone a human being. If I had to pick the last people on the planet to be duplicated in any way, it would be the Scientologists and the Raelians and anyone else even remotely like them. Unfortunately, this brings new meaning to the lyric from Tool's "Ænema": "Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones." And from Genesis' "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway": "Don't look at me, I'm not your kind. I'm Rael!" And I'm scared, very scared.
posted by media_dystopia @ 13:52 [ link | top | home ]
Site redesign in progress. I'm working on the site's HTML. It's been a while since I've tinkered with this much code. I hope to combine some of the color palettes and design features of my favorite Blogger templates to create something I like. That is, if I survive the hair-pulling. For the record: writing is fun; coding is tolerable -- barely.
posted by media_dystopia @ 11:44 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, December 26, 2002
Further to the previous post: The proverbial straw was when a friend told me that Tom Hanks' character in Castaway -- if you haven't seen it, stop reading now! -- was stuck on the island on four years. The transition to the emaciated, bearded Hanks with the text "four years later" on the screen was a movie moment that I lost forever because my friend couldn't resist telling me all about it, even though I had made it abundantly clear that I hadn't seen the movie yet (but wanted to). It's not like they started the previews with, "Stuck on an island for four years..." If I had wanted or needed to know that detail, I would have asked. (This shall henceforth be referred to as the "Castaway Incident.")
posted by media_dystopia @ 16:33 [ link | top | home ]
What is it with people who feel the need to describe movies and TV shows in intimate detail in front of those of us who haven't seen them yet? It's very inconsiderate, especially given the fact that I cover my eyes and ears during previews for my favorite shows so that I don't ruin the episodes for myself. I don't pay attention to movie reviews and previews for the same reason. In fact, the less I know, the better. For example: Fight Club. Not only is it one of my favorite movies, but it is also one of my all-time favorite movie experiences. Why? Because I knew nothing about the plot before taking my seat in the theater. All I knew was that it was directed by David Fincher (my favorite director), and that he was working with Brad Pitt for the first time since the incomparable Seven. That's all I needed to know. As a result, I was taken on one hell of a roller coaster ride. (Warning: the next sentence contains a spoiler.) If someone had mentioned that Tyler Durden and the narrator were the same person, then it wouldn't have been such an amazing movie experience. Whenever someone switches from opinion to detail, they run the risk of ruining it for the rest of us. "And then in the final scene --" "He kills the jackass who's giving away the salient points of the movie's plot? Oh, sorry, did I interrupt your gratuitous exposé?"
posted by media_dystopia @ 08:03 [ link | top | home ]
It's the middle of the night. My keyboard is lit by my monitor, Christmas lights, and scented candles. My body is attempting to digest the mixture of turkey, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and chocolate I pumped into it during the last 24 hours (yes, I'm wired like Beavis). I'm watching repeats of TLC's all-day Trading Spaces marathon. And I'm blogging. Happiness is...
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:00 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Christmas is eerie in that there is a stillness in the air -- or more specifically, in the airwaves. Talk yields to uplifting music. Familiar on-air talent is replaced with new faces. The media speak with muted voices. For once it all seems so quiet. And then, within a couple days, it returns to normal. Either that or we go out of our way to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil for a few days so that we can absorb the joyous sights and sounds of Christmas instead. Whatever the reason, it's eerie.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:45 [ link | top | home ]
Merry Christmas! No offense to Christians everywhere on the day celebrating the birth of the religion's savior and namesake, but Jesus Christ looks like a goofball. I think I preferred the long-haired, hippie, Roger-Hodgson-of-Supertramp Jesus over the scientific, forensic anthropology, Bob-Vila-of-Sears-commercials Jesus. In terms of style, that is; one is retro chic, the other is handyman plaid -- and we all know that image counts just as much in worship as it does in the media.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:30 [ link | top | home ]
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
Next time that dweeb Jonah "Bomb Canada" Goldberg questions Canada's status as a U.S. ally, perhaps he should read a Saudi 8th grader's textbook: "With what types of weapons should Muslims arm themselves against the Jews?" and "Jews and Christians were cursed by Allah and turned into apes and pigs," and "The hour (the Day of Judgment) will not come until the Muslims fight the Jews and kill them." Even the most rabid Canuck-basher like Goldberg has to stand in awe of other countries' -- not Canada's -- abilities to generate hate for others, especially Americans.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:04 [ link | top | home ]
According to NORAD Tracks Santa 2002, the fat man in the red suit is currently over Newfoundland. The Canadian Forces have scrambled two CF-18 supersonic fighters to escort him. Does anyone else picture a mid-air collision? (I told you that NORAD site was freaking me out. It's inducing paranoia.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 22:30 [ link | top | home ]
News headline kids don't want to see tomorrow: "Santa shot down by Iraqi air defenses in no-fly zone." (If they can shoot down an unmanned reconnaissance drone, surely they can nail a sleigh, a fat man, and eight tiny reindeer.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 13:49 [ link | top | home ]
That whole NORAD Tracks Santa 2002 thing is really freaking me out. I keep picturing a heat-seeking missile streaking towards the sleigh. Eight tiny reindeer trying to evade. Santa whipping presents out the back as chaff. A massive explosion. Christmas ruined for all. Am I obsessing again?
posted by media_dystopia @ 12:43 [ link | top | home ]
I watched CNN this morning: death and destruction, pain and suffering, human misery, Peace on Earth cancelled this year -- the usual. And that's just in the "Holy Land." Welcome to the greatest irony of Christmas.
posted by media_dystopia @ 12:15 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, December 23, 2002
News item: INS arrests Santa for entering U.S. illegally. In related news, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge finds bag of flaming reindeer dung on his doorstep. FBI is investigating.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:44 [ link | top | home ]
Sunday, December 22, 2002
Further to the December 18 post: It turns out that Time's Persons of the Year 2002 are the Worldcom, FBI, and Enron whistleblowers. That was a pleasant surprise. I didn't see that one coming at all.
posted by media_dystopia @ 14:38 [ link | top | home ]
News item: President demands approval to invade Canada. No, not really. Many thanks to TheGrandOldParty.com for that. (This is an approved "make Jonah 'Bomb Canada' Goldberg gag" site.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:07 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, December 21, 2002
Further to the December 16 post: Now that The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers has been released, I will have to spend the Christmas holidays dealing with "LOTR elitists" -- people who look astonished when you tell them that you haven't read the trilogy. "What? You haven't read it? What's your problem?" "Well, actually, you and anyone else who doesn't clue in to the fact that it's a matter of taste. Now get me another drink, moron."
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:51 [ link | top | home ]
That belligerent boss in the Waterpik AccuReach Precision Massager commercial who turns the "working man" into a stressed crotch-walking contortionist is the reason why employees go schizoid at work and gun down everyone within a 100-foot radius. I really don't think a massager, no matter how precise it is, will help you with a draconian taskmaster like that.
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:40 [ link | top | home ]
Feeling depressed at work? Visit Despair, Inc. and check out their Demotivators. You'll be walking the bland cubicle-lined corridors of your place of slavery -- I mean, employment, with a shit-eating grin on your face in no time.
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:46 [ link | top | home ]
Apparently the U.S. is experiencing some technical difficulties these days. (This is an approved "make Jonah 'Bomb Canada' Goldberg gag" site.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:39 [ link | top | home ]
No wonder those American pilots bombed Canadians soldiers in Afghanistan: they were on amphetamines. Known on the street as speed or uppers, the highly addictive drug is classed as a Schedule Two narcotic by the DEA, same as cocaine. It is not approved by the FDA to combat fatigue -- and yet, it is now standard issue to U.S. air force pilots to help them stay awake on long missions. According to experts, being too quick to take action is typical behavior for someone on speed. To prove it has a sense of irony and understatement, the air force dispenses the uppers as "go pills." That euphemism alone explains why the Canadian soldiers are going...going...gone.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:29 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, December 20, 2002
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Trent.
posted by media_dystopia @ 16:58 [ link | top | home ]
If you haven't had an "all your base are belong to us" moment today, visit Lost in Translation.
posted by media_dystopia @ 07:29 [ link | top | home ]
I just spent several hours blog-surfing. My first realization: my blog is the digital equivalent of watching paint dry. If I had any sense of aesthetics and the patience to deal with HTML, I would make it look better, maybe even "cool." For now, though, it's content over design -- focusing on the writing instead of the coding (hence the standard Blogger templates). My second realization: people who blog are in need of therapy. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:32 [ link | top | home ]
Sit back and let the Google Viewer do your surfing for you.
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:00 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the October 16 post: Ever since CNN's Daybreak featured Cleveland, Ohio, radio station Q104 in its "Talk of CNN" segment, I've been going back to the station's Web page to look at pictures of morning host Rebecca Wilde. I'm not obsessed am I?
posted by media_dystopia @ 03:35 [ link | top | home ]
Learn about Google Bombs and their effect on the world's favorite search engine. (Yeah, I know, I'm behind the times.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 03:07 [ link | top | home ]
Have you gotten your R. Lee Ermey fix today?
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:47 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, December 19, 2002
A benefit of online writing (like Blogger) is the ability to check language, in addition to spelling, using Internet search engines. For instance, if you're unclear what preposition is used in a certain phrase -- in the previous post, should it be "in a parachute" or "with a parachute"? -- you can use Google to find out which variation is used the most and, more importantly, which is used by people with style authority like newspapers and magazines. It's not the most precise way of determining correct language usage, but it works.
posted by media_dystopia @ 07:00 [ link | top | home ]
Given that NORAD is tracking Santa and President Bush is creating a missile defense system, does anyone else picture burning sleigh debris and bloody chunks of reindeer meat slamming into the ground after being hit with a "kill vehicle," followed minutes later by an unconscious Claus drifting down to earth in a parachute? Anyone? Maybe it's just me.
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:42 [ link | top | home ]
I just watched part of Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media (it's been years since I've seen the whole thing). The 1993 Canadian documentary "explores the political life and ideas of Noam Chomsky, world-renowned linguist, intellectual and political activist." I'm not usually a fan of far-left-wing political thought and activism -- I like to think of myself as a centrist -- but Chomsky said some things which made sense to me. I'm not about to run out and buy his books, mind you; I just have a little more respect for his views now.
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:30 [ link | top | home ]
I have always felt a sense of comfort watching Toronto's Citytv. The unique station, owned by CHUM Limited and co-founded by visionary Moses Znaimer, is one of the best I've ever seen. I'm not sure why I'm mentioning this now. It could be because I've been watching its morning show, Breakfast Television, a lot lately. It encapsulates everything I love about Citytv and its CHUM sister stations -- with the possible exception of The New RO, Ottawa's feeble attempt at duplicating Citytv. (The male host of Breakfast@The New RO freaks me out. It's rare that I watch a CHUM station and ask myself, "How the hell did that guy get hired?")
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:35 [ link | top | home ]
Yes, there is a black market for raw milk in Canada. I'm at a loss for words.
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:35 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
Every year at this time TIME publishes its "Person of the Year" edition, and every year the air is filled with righteous indignation amid speculation about the person to be named. Last year there was a furor over terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden being considered, and a collective sigh of relief when former New York City mayor and hero of 9-11 Rudolph Giuliani was named instead. This year there is much grumbling about the generic, unnamed terrorist potentially winning the title. "If TIME glorifies the savages who populate al Qaeda or Hamas," said New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser, "then the terrorists, truly, will have won." The fact is, the title has become non-honorific. Said TIME editor Jim Kelly in December, 2001: "...the classic definition of TIME's Person of the Year is the person who most affected the events of the year, for better or for worse." That doesn't mean naming someone we all like just to make us feel better -- and if it does, then TIME needs to update its definition of the "Person of the Year."
posted by media_dystopia @ 21:50 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the previous post: David Ahenakew blamed his anti-Jewish outburst on an unspecified health issue. In a related story, medicare is going to begin covering stupidity.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:52 [ link | top | home ]
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
David Ahenakew has finally issued an apology for his anti-Semitic remarks. Good. Now resign from the Order of Canada to save us all further embarrassment, you schmuck.
posted by media_dystopia @ 20:49 [ link | top | home ]
I completely forgot about the Travel Channel's Samantha Brown until today. (Sadly, I don't get that channel.) I feel remiss in not having included in her on my watch list -- which, as you may recall, includes the Home Depot tiling woman, Anna Bocci, and Kristen D'Amato -- long ago. My apologies, Samantha.
posted by media_dystopia @ 20:19 [ link | top | home ]
There's nothing like several days of barfing to put the "fun" in "Fun Ships."
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:35 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the December 14 post: Between Trent Lott in the U.S. and David Ahenakew in Canada, there seems to be a rash of foot-in-mouth disease these days. Lott is busy appearing on BET to apologize for his pro-segregationist comments, while Ahenakew is mute about some rather repugnant anti-Semitic remarks. The fact that the latter is a war veteran, prominent native statesmen, and distinguished member of the Order of Canada should not prevent him from being publicly flogged for his stupidity. And yes, that should include having his Order of Canada stripped in a loud and grotesque way.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:04 [ link | top | home ]
Geocaching: a sport where GPS users hide caches around in the world and swap coordinates over the Internet. Originally I saw it as an adventure game for the well-to-do -- only world travellers could participate -- but now I realize that it's not limited to exotic locations; chances are, there's a cache down the street.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:44 [ link | top | home ]
Internet geotracking (or geolocation, whatever you want to call it), where a computer's IP address is traced to determine its geographical location, is very useful. However, there's a problem when sites use it to default to country-specific content. For instance, the currencies used by online stores and the search options used by search engines, both based on location. Luckily google.ca, the default site for Canadians, provides a link to google.com. Other sites, however, do not show that kind of courtesy, which is unacceptable. It's as if they're saying, "You're from Country A and you're going to see Country A content whether you want to or not."
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:35 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, December 16, 2002
News item: Actor Sean Penn visits Iraq. Bush administration pushes for Saddam Hussein cameo in Dead Man Walking sequel.
posted by media_dystopia @ 08:18 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the previous post: While on I'm a roll, I might as well say a few words about music elitists. These are the people think that only classical music is "real" music, and that anything created today is merely copying what Mozart, Beethoven, and their ilk composed centuries ago. They have a puritanical approach to music and lack the capacity to appreciate what others listen to. That's okay; I lack the capacity to appreciate these arrogant dolts, so it balances the situation.
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:21 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the previous post: I'm one of those people who has difficulty focusing on any single subject with any great intensity. (People who complete post-graduate degrees don't, which amazes me.) I lose interest fast, and can even burn out on the subject. I much prefer to skim the surface, as it were. I absorb the information around me, distilling it down to its essence. Maybe that makes me less of an intellectual, or none at all. You be the judge.
posted by media_dystopia @ 03:45 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the September 15 post: I'm getting a little miffed with cultural and literary elitists. A few days ago on Rhona at Night, Rhona was complaining about smart people who watch television and surf the Internet instead of reading books. I get the same attitude from people who think that playing EverQuest and other fantasy games requires one to have read The Lord of the Rings -- and loved it. People who enjoy reading literature, especially those who do it in lieu of watching television, look down on those of us who don't. The fact is, some of us prefer news, facts, and information instead of fictional narratives. Some of us prefer to know what's going on in the real world instead of learning about imaginary ones. Some of us prefer to write our own words instead of reading other people's about things we care nothing about. Nevertheless, we're looked down upon and seen as lacking in culture and intelligence, as if reading the "classics" was the prerequisite for both. In Marshall MacLuhan's "global village," are we to believe that the intelligentsia comprises only those who read books for pleasure?
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:29 [ link | top | home ]
I'm a little iffy on the concept of taking beach vacations in countries where there is political strife or abject poverty, such as Mexico and Haiti (among many others). It seems hypocritical to be sitting in paradise on one side of the country when so many people are suffering or dying on the other side. It's one thing to visit and explore a country to learn about its culture and people, including its dark underbelly; it's another thing to hide behind the walls of an exclusive hotel or club where not even locals are allowed.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:16 [ link | top | home ]
I've noticed several former cast members of Life Network's now-defunct The Lofters in television jobs. Carolyn from last season is on the The Weather Network, and a woman (I forget her name) from the first season is on TSN. So that's how you get a job in broadcasting these days: be a beautiful young woman and appear on a "reality TV" show where you talk about your sex life all the time. Silly me for thinking that school and hard work were the keys to success.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:08 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, December 14, 2002
I haven't picked on Trent Lott and his pro-segregation comments yet. I'm not sure what to say. I'm shocked that a Republican politician could be both stupid and racist at the same time. I just couldn't see it coming. (Said with much eye-rolling.) Should the Republican Senate leader lose his job? It depends whether the party's leadership considers stupidity and racism a liability -- or a job description.
posted by media_dystopia @ 03:45 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, December 13, 2002
Speaking of the Ottawa Citizen, I think CanWest Global Communications' canada.com network strips newspapers of their individuality. These papers all have unique layouts, graphics, and styles -- and yet the network portal takes all this away from them. The company should allow each of its publications to have its own unique Web page instead of funneling all of them into a single drab portal.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:55 [ link | top | home ]
It seems that Scott Taylor, editor of Canadian military rag Esprit de Corps, is now a correspondent for the Ottawa Citizen. Next time the Citizen's pushy telemarketers call to sell me a subscription -- "It's such a good deal! What have you got to lose?" -- I'm going to tell them that the hiring of Canadian military journalism's equivalent of Geraldo Rivera to report on Iraq and other serious issues is the reason I refuse to subscribe to the paper. Readers will do themselves a favor by not trusting that man and his complete lack of objectivity.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:46 [ link | top | home ]
Message to J.Lo.: abbreviating your name every other week is not cool -- it's pretentious and annoying. Pass the message on to P. Diddy and the other hip-hop morons.
posted by media_dystopia @ 00:52 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Here's another group with way too much time on its hands: lunar landing conspiracy theorists.
posted by media_dystopia @ 15:24 [ link | top | home ]
Two words: cow poetry. Artists have way too much time on their hands.
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:03 [ link | top | home ]
When you're done visiting Canada Kicks Ass, be sure to stop by Canadian World Domination. It's a hoot!
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:33 [ link | top | home ]
Seeing those ads for Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell in Canada is a little disconcerting. The computer game features a one-man killing machine who does anything he sees fit to "defend American freedoms." Will this assassin be defending the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms as well? If not, then showing the ad here isn't appropriate. Find another way to market the game in Canada, please.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:58 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
I wonder how many times Martin Sheen has used the line, "I'm not a president of the United States, but I play one on television," when lending support to antiwar organizations like Artists United to Win Without War. I haven't heard him say it yet, but I imagine his Bush-bashing Hollywood buddies would get a kick out of it. Speaking of which, does anyone else think membership in the Screen Actor's Guild should include a prohibition against left-wing indoctrination of the masses? Just wondering.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:28 [ link | top | home ]
Not to sound cynical and uncaring, especially at Christmas, but those ads for Christian Children's Fund and similar organizations are really starting to annoy me. I think their work is laudable, but bombarding us with images of the Third World's poor, starving children is bothersome. My first thought is to wonder what their own countries are doing to help. In many cases they're hindering instead; their leaders are busy fighting civil wars -- often based on ethnic or religious hatred -- lining their pockets, and quenching their thirst for power. I find it hard to swallow this sort of missionary propaganda when I know what's really going on in these countries -- and how many people are suffering in my own.
posted by media_dystopia @ 00:57 [ link | top | home ]
Whenever American friends suggest -- jokingly, of course -- that Canada become the 51st state, I tell them that the U.S. would make a much better 11th province or, better still, fourth territory. I'm sure we'll be able to come up with a good name for them once they join the Canadian confederation. Nova America or Lower Nunavut perhaps? Maybe the United States of Canada? Whatever we end up calling them, I just hope they can get used to universal health care, curling, and poutine.
posted by media_dystopia @ 00:33 [ link | top | home ]
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
I was happy to watch the A&E countdown to the Biography of the Year up until they announced President Bush was in the number slot. Very disappointing.
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:06 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, December 09, 2002
I hate word processors. Margins and kerning and headers and page breaks and shading and fonts and spacing -- all drowning my words in a sea of formatting. I prefer to use simple text editors like EditPad for offline writing. They distill the process down to its basics and eliminate the need for cumbersome Microsoft or Corel office products. (Text editors can also be used on the slowest computer without taxing the CPU.) Blogger Pro allows me to bold and italicize text, insert links, and check spelling; its bare-bones interface makes it the ideal online writing tool. (Even then the spell-check is extraneous. It's nice to double-check your work, but you have to be able to spot mistakes on your own.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 16:52 [ link | top | home ]
Comic actors Kristen D'Amato and Amy Roeder of Boston's Improv Asylum were featured on TLC's A Makeover Story today. It's rare that I say this: I couldn't take my eyes off of Kristen. She was stunning -- before and after the makeover. I'll have to add her to my watch list along with the Home Depot tiling woman and Anna Bocci.
posted by media_dystopia @ 16:34 [ link | top | home ]
The Lord of the Rings' movie marketing machine is brilliant. Excessive, but brilliant: movies and sequels released only at Christmas; DVDs followed-up with "extended edition" DVDs -- Machiavelli himself is smiling at that one -- collectibles by the truckload; commercials, commercials, and more commercials. You can't take five steps in a bookstore without walking into a life-size cardboard cut-out of Gandalf. Is this really what J.R.R. Tolkien had in mind for his beloved work?
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:10 [ link | top | home ]
Further to the previous post: I think Citizenship and Immigration Canada should set up a watch list for ignorant Americans with anti-Canadian views -- starting with Jonah "Bomb Canada" Goldberg, Pat "Soviet Canuckistan" Buchanan, and Robert "Wienies" Novak. Agents should be instructed to give these gentlemen the rubber-glove treatment when they cross the border. By all means let them into the country; just make sure they're walking funny by the time they get back to their cars.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:28 [ link | top | home ]
If the U.S. ever forces Canadians to be photographed and fingerprinted at the border, then Americans should get the same treatment when they enter Canada. We'll provide free copies of the National Review and other right-wing publications so that they can read in line and ponder Canada's knee-jerk anti-Americanism.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:15 [ link | top | home ]
Sunday, December 08, 2002
Canada Kicks Ass presents the "Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Canada," written by John Bender, maker of the "Switch to Canada" video. Enjoy!
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:36 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, December 07, 2002
I'm happy to see that CBC's article on Canadians going to Baghdad as human shields -- to protest against the upcoming war with Iraq -- made it to number six on the Blogdex. Not because I agree with these antiwar yahoos and their silly attempt to stop bombs with their bodies, but because it's nice to see the Blogger community referencing a Canadian news source on the subject.
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:24 [ link | top | home ]
It dawned on me this evening that video games featuring snowy landscapes give me a great deal of comfort -- much like the real thing.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:58 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, December 06, 2002
Further to the November 9 post: If there's one problem with TLC's Trading Spaces, it's those prissy homeowners who don't like their renovated rooms. To those people I wish to say the following: if you can't handle the outcome, don't go on the program. You're getting a professionally designed room at no charge -- invariably improving what was there -- and your whining is getting annoying.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:07 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, December 05, 2002
I think AOL Time Warner is about to lose a lot of business. The media giant has decided to make online content from its various divisions -- including Time, People, CNN, and HBO -- exclusive to America Online subscribers. Having AOL -- whose ubiquitous ad campaign is already the bane of every experienced Internet user's existence -- as gatekeeper for intelligent, professional content is disappointing. The news is not all bad, though: the company will continue to provide free coasters.
posted by media_dystopia @ 18:51 [ link | top | home ]
The 2002 "media imbecile of the year" award goes to Fox News Channel braggart Geraldo Rivera for likening criticism of his on-air mistakes to "penis envy." Last year the infamous journalist won for his unprofessional reporting from Afghanistan, where he armed himself and threatened to kill Osama bin Laden. This year's award ceremony will be held at a New York Hooters restaurant where adoring fans will be on-hand to have their backsides autographed.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:14 [ link | top | home ]
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
News item: Saudi Arabia is upset with critical comments by the United States. "We believe that our country has been unfairly maligned," said Saudi policy advisor Adel al-Jubeir. "It's a feeding frenzy. It's 'let's bash the Saudis time,'" he told the Washington news conference. Canada's reaction: "You too?"
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:33 [ link | top | home ]
I love the smell of holly in the morning; it smells like...shopping. Christmas is a consumer society's nirvana and I'm smack-dab in the middle of it. The TV commercials, store decorations, mall Santas, red and green sales tags, special offers -- all convincing me to spend, spend, spend. It's the only time of the year I can feel good about boosting the economy; the rest of the time I feel bad about wasting the money. Oh how I love Christmas!
posted by media_dystopia @ 22:39 [ link | top | home ]
Christmas shopping has distracted me from the media. I'm so ashamed. I'll get back to my sarcastic self soon, I promise.
posted by media_dystopia @ 22:33 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, December 02, 2002
It's been days since the American right-wing media has indulged in self-righteous, anti-Canadian mudslinging. What gives? Don't tell me they've moved on to important subjects. Say it ain't so!
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:48 [ link | top | home ]